If you want to understand today, you have to search yesterday - Pearl S. Buck


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

She Just Wants To Go Home

Bake & Ma - my grandparents cir 1964

My grandma is tired and she wants to go home.  She has been very lonely since my grandpa died 12 years ago.  He was her rock.  She's been having a difficult time lately.  She got mad last week and told my sister she was moving to Comanche, which is her childhood home.  A couple hours later she was moving to back to Velma, which is where my grandparents made their home for several years.
When my grandpa was alive she was a vibrant woman, happy all the time.  She also loved being a preacher's wife.  It was her career.  After my grandpa died she lost him and her career.  I was thinking that she changed the day he died but really it was before that.  It was the day we heard Bake's cancer was not treatable.  My stepdad and I took her and Bake to the doctor.  When we were in the doctor's office he told Bake that he had lost 25 lbs in just a few days.  Ma dropped to her knees sobbing.  I couldn't hold her up and I couldn't console her.  Then the doctor tells us that the cancer has spread and is too far gone for treatment.  Bake told him to take him out back and shoot him.  She kept it together until he died.  She was brave for him.
The first time I heard Blake Shelton sing Home I thought of my grandma.  She just wants to go home so she can be with my grandpa.
She used to sing "I've Got A Mansion" in church.  She has a raspy voice and she would raise her arms when she would sing the chorus.  I wish you could hear her sing:

Don't think me poor, deserted or lonely
I'm not discouraged, I'm heaven bound
I'm but a pilgrim in search of the city
I want a mansion, a harp and a crown

I've got a mansion just over the hilltop
In that bright land where we'll never grow old
And some day yonder we will never more wander
But walk on streets that are purest gold.

Although she is a very healthy woman for her age it won't be long before she goes home.  Believe me she will skip on those streets that are purest gold.

Happy Grandma's Day.
Territory Mom


Prairiemaid said...

Sweet and touching post. It must be difficult for her. Sounds like they had a special relationship.

BTW, noticed you won the tee shirt giveaway over at RHOK. Better scoot over and give them the information they need.;) Congratulations!

Brandi said...

The power of true love never ceases to amaze. Such a beautiful post... makes me think of my precious grandparents as well.