Finally the End of the Story - Part 4 to RHOK's 2 Truths & 1 Lie

I promise (with my fingers crossed) that I won't join in on The Real Housewives of Oklahoma's McLinky Monday unless I can get complete my answers in a timely manner.  As you know I'm a mommy first and we celebrated my son's birthday this weekend.  Our birthday celebrations last a few days and both kids get presents.  It's crazy wild!!!

So here is the final part of my McLinky Monday from last week:

4. I belong to one of the outlaw families of Oklahoma

 whose crimes have been the subject of many books.

Yes, this is true.  I was born into the first family and the second family is by marriage.

First Family:

A few years ago I began researching my Mabry/Wilkerson side, particularly, Thomas Lilly Mabry who married Nancy Rebecca Belle Wilkerson.  I found that many were born and buried in Briartown, OK.  Then I find that they actually lived at Younger's Bend.  First of all a person doesn't move to Younger's Bend in Indian Territory just because its a great place to raise your kids.  It's Belle Starr's homestead and a safe haven for outlaws.
I find a professional geneaologist for the Mabry family.  He tells me who I am related to and where my Mabry branch is buried.  When my son was a baby my husband takes us to the area for our cemetery search.  It's close to Lake Eufaula so it's going to be a nice scenic drive.  Now, I have a map and directions from the cemetery expert for Muskogee County and I also got directions from a local funeral home (your best source).  I know where I'm going.

Well, we end up in a very remote area (the whole place is remote) we are on a dirt road that is partially washed out and very wooded.  Our directions lead us to The Starr Family Cemetery, this makes no sense.  My husband's says, "get your camera, we'll check it out".  Of course there is a huge tombstone for Sam Starr, Belle's husband.  (fyi-Belle is buried by herself on her own land a few miles away).  Then we find other Starrs, Tom, Catherine and Cherokee.  Tom is Sam's father.  We also find many unmarked graves, but no Mabrys.  We start getting an uneasy feeling so we go back to the truck.  We decide to drive down this secluded road a little further.  We get to the end of the road to a locked gate.  We can see an area that looks like an old gravesite by a small old cabin.  I started putting my boots on when my husband tells me, "you are not going in there".   We head back home without finding the Mabrys or any Wilkersons.

I contacted the Mabry family expert and I never heard a reply as to why my Mabry ancestor would move to this area.  I have recently found out from a 2nd cousin that Thomas Lilly Mabry moved with his family from Georgia to Younger's Bend in the early 1870's because they were cousins with Tom Starr.

Tom Starr

This isn't a very good explanation, but it's all we have right now.  About 1881, Thomas Lilly Mabry married Nancy Rebecca Belle Wilkerson, they were my great great grandparents.  I have found out that Nancy's parents moved to Younger's Bend about the same time as the Mabrys.  Nancy's father, George had been in the 22nd Texas Calvary during the Civil War.  Because ex-confederate soilders were so persecuted in Texas he moved his family to Younger's Bend to be close to his family (not sure who George's family was in Younger's Bend).  I'll post more information about the Mabry/Wilkerson family at a later date. (by the way family the Wilkerson line where is our Cherokee heritage comes into play, but I need some help proving it).

Second Family:

This is about my husband's family so I will leave the names out.  I don't know if I would call this an outlaw family or more of an over zealous posse.  There have been two books written devoted to the following incident and many books where it is profiled.  You should know that all families involved disagree about the events.  This was before statehood when there wasn't much help from law enforcement so settlers took matters into their own hands.  I'm working on my own account of the events.

What everyone agrees on is this a woman was murdered by a teenage boy.

She died trying to protect her children.  Her husband was away working on a new house and she was left with her children to take care of the old house.  They felt safe because they had a nearby neighbor that knew she was alone and she could go to his family for help.

This is where the events of what really happened become a matter of opinion based on which family is telling the story.  I will try to give a short, unbiased version, without the grusome details.  Apparently the teenage boy and a friend wanted the family's horses.  The boys told the woman that her husband had told them they could have them.  She disagreed, the boys became angry and killed her.  Her children were hiding in the house.  The boys got scared and ran away.  The next morning the oldest child, a boy of only 7 years old, took his sisters to town to get help.  They did not go to the neighbor's house first.  A posse was immediately formed and word was sent to her husband.  He returned and made sure his children were in good hands then he led one posse and another man led the other posse.  My husband's family is related to this woman and many of his ancestors were part of the posse.  First, her husband went to the neighbor's house for help.  He was a prominent man in the community but he offered no help.  The sheriff was a drunk and would not help, in fact he left town. 

Over the next several days the posse rounded up many men and boys.  The woman's son had to identify them.  If he couldn't they were released, but not after being interrogated.  Finally the son identify the neighbor's son who confessed but also implicated another man who he said actually killed the woman.  The neighbor sent word to the sheriff who finally agree to get involved.  He told the man he would get his son back, but instead he let the posse keep the boy.

By now Federal Marshalls were on their way, but it was too late.  The boy and his friend were killed by the posse.   Many believed that the posse killed the wrong suspects.  The incident was then investigated by the Feds and many members of the posse were arrested.  After a trial about four men were sent to prison, but only served short terms.  A few years later the corrupt sheriff was riding his horse when he was ambused and murdered.  This murder was never solved and no one spoke of it.

This is one of those sad moments in our state's history but it is still part of our history. 

Before I go one more thing about my family.  It is odd but Mirabelle Shirley aka Belle Starr was born in 1848 in Carthage, Missouri and her brother rode with Major Quantrill's Raiders.  My great great grandfather on my mother's side, Thomas Jefferson Baker was born in Carthage in 1842 and his father, the Notorious Capt. Baker led his own raids.  You know these families had to have know each other.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

P.S. One day I'll tell you about my friends who don't know each other, but one is related to Belle Starr and they other is related to Cole Younger.  Only in Oklahoma!!

The Rest of the Story - Part 3

Okay, the answer to #3.

3. I was named after a princess

Yes, that is true.  I was named after Princess Stephanie of Monoco, although I do not go by "Stephanie". 

My mother had picked out my name but needed something to go with it.  Princess Stephanie was born about 2 months before me and her family was featured in Life Magazine.  It was fun as a child to tell people I was named after a princess.  I looked at that Life Magazine over and over.

Princess Stephanie and Princess Grace

Photo from:  The Royal Forums

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

The Rest of the Story - Part 2

Okay, back to the rest of the story.  For the girls at RHOK's McLinky Monday.

2. One of my grandmothers was traded by her father for a horse.

Charlie and Maggie Dunn & family, cir 1902

Yes, this is true.  It was my great grandmother, Nancy "Pearl" Emily Dunn Barham.  The Dunn family was living in a logging camp in Arkansas where Pearl's father, Charlie Dunn, was a logger.  Pearl's mother, Maggie Brashear Dunn died while living in the camp two weeks after the birth of her ninth child.  She died from pnemonia at the age of 35 on February 27, 1905.  Pearl was only 13 years old at the time.  Two months later, Pearl's older sister, Maudie got married.

The story my grandma tells me is that Charlie went crazy, drinking and everything.  I wish you could hear my grandma say, "drinking".  He traded Pearl to a man in the logging camp for a horse.  Pearl and this man got married, but it was never consumated.  My grandma always made it clear that it was never consumated.  When I was a girl I had to look up "consumated".

Pearl escaped from this man and went to Russellville.  She worked as a typesetter for the newspaper and the owner of the paper let her lived in a back room at the newspaper office.  After Pearl married my great grandfather, John Jackson Barham they left Arkansas and moved to Oklahoma.  Eventually all of the Dunn children left Arkansas and moved to Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico.  None of them returned to Arkansas, too sad I guess.

Pearl left a memoir of her life, sadly it was lost years ago.  I bet it was good.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

 

P.S. If you are a family member who wants a copy of the above photo without the names, just email me.

The Rest Of The Story - McLinky Monday - Part 1

I meant to post my answer yesterday, but when the kids get up at 4:00 am. there is no time to think or write. You just get going taking care of kids. Today I'm posting the rest of the story, but I'm going to tell each story in a different post.
So to my McLinky Monday 2 truths and 1 lie everyone guessed that #1 was a lie:

1. When I lived in Hong Kong and was a model and lived with other models from several different countries.

Can a girl from a small town in Oklahoma become a model in Hong Kong?  Oh, yes if she looks like this:

My baby sister early 1990's

So you were all right.  It was a lie concerning me but not my sister.  She did some catalog work and some print ads.  It was never her intention to be a model it was just a job that came along.  She is the baby of our family and the free spirit.  I have tried to get her to start a blog so you can hear about her adventures from sleeping on a beach in Laos on Christmas Eve to living in a commune in India.  She is full of stories.

Also, there was another girl from our hometown who was a runway model in Paris, we grow them pretty in our town.

This was the 80's and the 90's and we were all inspired by this Oklahoma girl:

Suzy Amis

My older sister read Seventeen Magazine and one day she shows me an article about Suzy Amis.  She is from Oklahoma and a model.  How cool is that?  I think the magazine is still in my mom's garage.  Ms. Amis went on to be an actress in such films as Where The Heart Is, a real artsy movie from 1990, Titantic, you know about that one and my personal favorite, The Ballad of Little Jo.

What is more exciting about Ms. Amis than being a model or actress is that in 2005 she founded MUSE Elementary, an independent, non-profit school in Topanga, CA.

From a MUSE parent:

MUSE is a place for children to have a process

for their passion.

So, you can be from Oklahoma and become anything.  Do you feel inspired?  I know I sound like a real hippie sometimes, peace, love and understanding.

I'll have to post the rest later, today is sewing day and I have to get busy.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

McLinky Monday - 2 Truths & 1 Lie

Okay, for today's McLinky Monday, The Real Housewives of Oklahoma are playing a game.  Tell two truths and one lie about yourself so everyone can guess which is the lie,  here goes:

1. When I lived in Hong Kong and was a model and lived with other models from several different countries.

2.  One of my grandmothers was traded by her father for a horse.

3.  I was named after a princess, one more just for fun:

4.  I belong to one of the outlaw families of Oklahoma whose crimes have been the subject of many books.

Guess which one is the lie and I'll let you know the truths tomorrow.

Oh, be sure and play along.

Love,
Territory Mom

Oklahoma To Me - 26th Verse

Chief Warrant Officer Donald Wann & Family from the Shawnee News-Star

Oklahoma to me . . .

 is coming home

Today Officer Wann of Shawnee, Oklahoma will be laid to rest in the Fort Gibson National Cemetery, Fort Gibson, Oklahoma.

  The remains of Officer Wann and another U.S. soilder, Paul Magers of Sidney, NE were identified through DNA testing in March of this year.  Both men were pilots and they died when their helicopter was shot down June 1, 1971 during a rescue mission in Quang Tri Province, South Vietnam.

After almost 40 years Donald Wann is coming home.

For more about this story please go to news-star.com

Love,

Territory Mom

I Found Some New Relatives - The Russells

On the RHOK's McLinky Monday Mrs.McGillicutty posed the question "What do you write about?"  Well, she had just  returned form the Blogher conference and this questioned is asked alot at the conference. 

I had started this blog (I have 3) to write about my family history and my love of Oklahoma.  Its nicer to have my family research updates read that way I don't see anyone leave the room.  I also don't have to see that look of boredom.  You know who you are.

I was going to answer the question yesterday since it was Monday, but I had been on Ancestry.com and had just found some new relatives, no time to blog.  This is who I found:

Margaret Russell Barham

She is my 3rd great grandma, Margaret Russell.  She was born on October 1, 1845 in Alabama.  Sing it with me, "Sweet Home Alabama, where the skies are so blue . . ."

Her parents were James Brownlow Russell and Nancy Caroline Hill.  Margaret was one of 17 children.  Her family moved to Izard County, Arkansas in 1850.  She married Andrew Jackson Barham in 1866 and they had 9 children, including my 2nd great grandfather, Thomas Franklin Barham.

Margaret died November 27, 1911 in Appleton, Pope County, Arkansas.  She is buried next to her husband, A.J. "Jack" Barham in the Crossroad Cemetery.

I also found a photo of Margaret's father:

James Brownlow Russell

1810-1875

I found out that he was in the Civil War and it appears from the photo that he was on the Union side.  It looks like he is wearing a Union uniform.  Check out the gun he is holding.  If you were from Arkansas you could join either side.  Margaret's husband was on the Confederate side.

I need to do some more research on this family.  I think I will try and find the military records first.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

We Were Only 13

For this week's McLinky Monday The Real Housewives of Oklahoma had "Back to School Time".
   For my post on our homeschool go here.

This time is year is a little sad for me.  As you know I was born in Oklahoma and I am an Okie through and through, however, as a child I spent 11 years of my life in another state.  We lived in a fairly large city on the north side which was not the best side of the city.  This was the area for the dysfunctional families, the poor, or the single parent homes.  This was the 70's so we still had to keep of appearances.  We went to church all the time, but lived in hell at home.

Also, because it was the 1970's women were being liberated. Moms were having to go back to work because some dads just stopped working. It was a difficult time for my family.

This was my school.  It wasn't this nice when I was in school.

When I went to jr. high for the first time I was all alone, my older sister was in high school and my younger sister was still in our beloved elementary school.  I had to ride the bus for the first time, which as you know you are subject to bullies.  I survived my 7th grade year by just trying to fit in and not make anyone mad.  My 8th grade year was going to be better, however 32 years ago this month a girl in my class had been found murdered.  Her name was Malinda.  She had dark skin with long black hair.  She and I played 7th grade basketball together.  She was a gifted athelete.

The local news kept showing the same photo of her.  It was just her carmel colored ankle wearing her new white Keds laying in the grass.  I can still see the image.  This is how I remember her, laying in the grass all alone.

We went back to school the following week for an orientation and it was hard for me because everyone acted like nothing had happened.  I mentioned it to a few teachers but no one would talk about it.  Malinda's best friend was just having fun.  I couldn't wrap my head around this behavior. 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not

unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 (KJV)

That year we raised money for a plague for Malinda.  I remember we were allowed to hang it in the school lobby and if others including teachers or staff died then their names would be added to it.  I wonder if the school still has it.

Malinda's murder was never solved.  I heard that a few years later a friend of her family committed suicide, another boy in our area.  It was rumored that he committed the crime, but as far as I know it was never confirmed.

Malinda's mom was a single mother and she had to worked all the time, like my mom.  Less than a year later my mom would be single and thankfully we would find our way back to Oklahoma.
I never really knew until I was older how much danger we were in as kids.  We always say that if you can survive the 70's you can survive anything.  I never heard in any woman's lib speech that while a woman is out trying to have it all someone will be stalking your children.  Thankfully, my mom prayed alot and God protected us.
If Malinda were alive today she would be 45 years old and probably a grandma.  I will never forget her.
Love,
Territory Mom  

Oklahoma To Me - 25th Verse

Oklahoma to me . . .

is going to Braum's after

Sunday night service.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

Dry Water Towers, Oh My

Sunday night our water pressure went way down so the thing we check was the meter.  Everything is fine so its not us.  My husband said probably just high usage.  Very hot outside.  By the next morning barely a trickle.  So I call the water dept. and they are surprised I even have water even if its just a trickle.  There is a leak on the line and two water towers in my area are dry.  Two water towers dry?Over 400 customers without water.

This may sound crazy but I was just relieved it wasn't us.  Man, is it a hassle to fix a water leak.  We are already hillbillies so its no big deal to go without water, A/C or electricity.  At least for a little while.  Oh, the National Guard set up water stations at three locations for drinking water.  In the photo is what they call a water buffalo.  It holds 400 gallons of water and you just take your bottles and fill up. 

So anyway since I still had a trickle of water I started filling up the bathtub, outside water bowls and everything I could find in the house to fill with water. 

I called the water dept this morning and the leak had been fixed but it will take a few days to fill the towers back up.  By 11:00 am. the water pressure had increased so we are now living like high class hillbillies.  We may even build a cement pond.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom

Friends - McLinky Monday for RHOK

For today's McLinky Monday The Real Housewives of Oklahoma question is "What are the top 5 qualities that are most important in your friendships?"

Friendships have changed for me over the years.  I haven't always been a good friend and I haven't always had good friends.  As I have matured I think I'm a better than friend in my 40's than I was in my 20's.  So, I'm not sure I can answer the question.  I do know this:

If you have ever been through a divorce, financial troubles or some other tough issues then you have found out who are your true friends.  The most important quality in a friendship to me is someone who just sticks around.  I know God will always be there for me and my family, but I have lost a few friends on life's journey.  People face the same issues but at different times in their lives.  This affects friendships. 

I may not have picked the best friends to begin with.  If you feel like the friendship is work its not a friendship.  I had a friend and I was the one calling her or going by to see her.  She never did the same.  I finally figured out that she wasn't really my friend.  I'm felt foolish.  After 8 years I finally stopped calling her or emailing her.  I'm a slow learner.  Of course she has never reached out to me.

I have two friends that have come to see me and as we were visiting they both folded all my clean laundry that was on my couch.  Now that's a friend!!!

and

if you haven't talk to a friend in awhile and you cry when you hear their voice that is a true friend.

My new BFF's

Hook up with the The Real Housewives of Oklahoma today.

Oh, this Wednesday, August 4th Man vs. Food will be in OKC at the Steak & Catfish Barn.

The show is on at 8:00 pm central on the Travel Channel.

Have a great day.

Love,

Territory Mom